When He's Not Posting Everyone Should be Asking, "Where's Andrew?"


Undoubtedly many of you have spent the past several weeks not asking yourselves, "Hey, where's Andrew's Spring Break blog?" My initial answer to the question none of you have asked is "Back the fuck off." Art takes inspiration, dedication, and having access to your own computer. The actual answer, however, is that I have had Mono for the last several weeks since Spring Break ended. Somewhere between the endless airline travel, sleeping 3-4 hours a night, avoiding drinking water, and banging an inordinate amount of Mexican teenage prostitutes (I'm just kidding - they were all in their 20's...or not yet in their teens), I managed to contract the virus. The results have been apathy to school, a need to sleep 14 hours a day, and impotence, ohhh the impotence. This has made it difficult to post "Free Booze..." in the timely manner I had hoped for following the trip. Do not fret, though; I will be sitting down this coming weekend to begin publishing our escapades. With little to no school work of importance and the distraction that is the Women's Final Four finally coming to an end, I will be able to give my total attention to this. I hope to get it all done in two weeks, as opposed to the six I had originally envisioned. In the mean time I will be doing the sporadic Here & There posting throughout this week.

Also, I have delayed the writing because I have been reading a great deal of Chuck Klosterman recently. With his influence fresh in my brain it becomes difficult to write without injecting several pop culture references and analysis to the point it seems forced and trite. None of us need to see our Puerto Vallarta adventures overlapped with philosophical looks at Sanford & Son and Black Sabbath.

I say this even though I have been making pop culture references in my postings and writing long before I ever read Klosterman. And I will continue to make the references at the same relentless rate as Schneider's libido on "One Day at a Time." To paraphrase the Beach Boys, "God only knows what I'd be without my pop culture musings."